Health 0, happiness 0 — Let's fix that
On my path to untapped well-being, I fell into a trap: confusing effort (and joyless routines) with effectiveness. I was doing all the right things, but the outcome told a different story.
Introducing the Unwell-Being Loop
Welcome to the unwell-being loop: that sneaky spiral of doing what you think you’re supposed to do instead of what actually feels good to your body, and how those quiet misalignments ripple into everything else: your energy, your joy, your focus, and your relationships.
We live in a world drowning in advice, and almost never pause to ask: “Wait… does this even make sense for me? And does it make sense for me in this season of my life?"
I did all the things. I ate the kale (nasty work) and went to the workouts that were way too early considering my bedtime. And guess what? I didn’t feel like myself and I didn’t meet my goal.
I checked the boxes and missed the point
Let’s rewind. I set out to lose 60 pounds and stuck to a plan full of pepper soup, lean protein, and veggies I didn’t even like. Scratch that, veggies I hated. But I kept going. Because mama didn’t raise a quitter.
I was hungry, cranky, and joyless. My energy dipped. My focus vanished. Meals were so sad that they killed my appetite. Health: 0. Happiness: 0.
And of course, the plan didn’t stick. That’s just one example. But we do this in so many ways:
The workout you dread but power through anyway, then limp through the rest of your day
The diet that’s “healthy” but makes you question the meaning of life (and kale)
The calendar full of plans you made out of guilt, now praying for cancellations
The 5 a.m. routine that gets you up early and gives you nothing but a headache by 10
The “friendship” that feels more like emotional customer service
Saying yes when your whole body is screaming no
If wellness is costing me joy, community, and carbs… is it really wellness?
Health and happiness aren’t enemies
One of the biggest takeaways from The Joy of Well-Being is this: health and happiness are not at odds. They’re teammates. Your mental and emotional health impact your physical health, and vice versa.
The unwell-being loop starts when we chase perfection in one area and quietly throw everything else off.
So what’s the alternative?
We start a new rhythm: the well-being multiplier. Where health adds to your life instead of subtracting from it. When your actions support both your body and your joy, the benefits don't stop there; they spill into your energy, your focus, and how you show up everywhere else.
Eating food that fuels you and brings joy, leading to clearer thinking and steadier energy (and less crashouts)
Moving in ways that feel good, not punishing, making it easier to sleep, regulate stress and energy
Setting goals from care, not shame, building confidence instead of anxiety
Choosing progress over perfection, protecting your mental health so one imperfect day doesn’t derail everything
Letting wellness support your life instead of becoming your life, so there’s room for rest, friendships, and joy
Health: 1. Happiness: 1. That’s the vibe.
How Do We Break the Loop?
Start with one question: Will this decision make me happy and healthy?
Start there. Pick one shift that feels kind, energizing, or honest. The rest will follow. You just need to feel like you again. Health: 1. Happiness: 1. Finally, we’re playing on the same team.
